We were also simultaneously re-launching the brand, creating new content, building a new website (which I did mostly on my own from watching Youtube videos) with nothing but blood, sweat and lots of tears (mostly from me when I had my hormone driven pity parties). Sleepless night after sleepless night. One night, when I finally did sleep, I had a nightmare that I was falling down a dark hole like Alice, but all around me were jars of beads, crystals, boxes of chain and ribbons, falling all around me and I was trying to catch them, put them back on the shelves - I woke up in a sweat and panic. This became routine, All I wanted was a good nights sleep and to have my feet on solid ground. 

It felt like we were existing in dark clouds and rain - literally since most of this last year it rained in Los Angeles which made everything harder (listen, we are not used to THAT MUCH rain!) So the goal became “solid ground” by the holidays, or at least firmer ground, more sleep and less worrying. When Olivia said “Rabbit Rabbit” on the morning of December first I felt a shock go down my spine and I heard my Dad’s voice in my ear “You know Tarina, as you get older the years just go by faster!” And suddenly I had to face all that I had not yet accomplished this year that I had promised myself I would have. I hit the wall….here comes the pity party. Olivia in all her wisdom looked at me and said “We’re not doing this today! people in the world have real problems Mom, snap out of it lets go for a walk.” As we walked up the hill in the sunny afternoon we looked up and there was the most vibrant gorgeous rainbow with a sky full of dark clouds behind it. Within minutes those clouds were over us and we were drenched under a sudden downpour that washed away my pity party. 

As we walked home I realized that I was always on solid ground, my solid ground is my family and my purpose which is to create as much as possible in this one precious life. Nothing can wash that away. We have made it through most of this very unexpected year solidly determined and knowing what we need to do. That in itself feels like a huge accomplishment so instead of focusing on the goals that we didn’t meet I am letting myself be proud of the goals that we did.  Heres to chasing rainbows and dreams again and again and again. 

xo Tarina